10 Ways To Annoy Animal Farm's Creatures
by Cody The Pikachu
Summary: I'm writing lists of 10 ways to annoy the Animal Farm animals. Review and see the disclaimer inside. Rated K  for extreme randomness. Complete for now!
1. Napoleon

**I noticed that there were few Animal Farm stories, so what I'm going to do is to create funny chapters on 10 ways of how to annoy the animals on Animal Farm. First up is the totalitarian bastard pig...Napoleon!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any animal or human on Animal Farm. I'm borrowing them from George Orwell for humorous reasons.**

**...**

_**Top Ten Ways To Annoy Animal Farm Creatures**_

_Napoleon_

1. When he sits down at the table, remove his chair from beneath him and watch him spin on the floor and squeal.

2. ...then play the song "You Spin Me Right Round" when Squealer sees Napoleon.

3. Feed him pork. When he asks what it's called, say that it's "Pig's Dinner." When he asks what it's made of, whisper what it is. Then videotape him puking.

4. Keep shouting "Snowball's here on the farm! He's under the table!" When he looks under and sees nothing, say, "Boy, are you stupid!"

5. Retrain his dogs to attack Napoleon by bribing them with Kibbles 'N' Bits.

6. Mock his talking when he gives a speech. Then stand next to him and keep saying "Oink" into his ear over and over. Then he'll yell "SHUT UP!" really loudly.

7. Take away his whiskey and force him to go on a diet of moldy bread and water.

8. Take his clothes off during a meeting with the other pigs and humans. Then shout "Four legs good! Two legs LAME!"

9. Make up FanFics about NapoleonXSquealer romance.

10. Butcher his favorite sow!

**...**

**There! I wrote my first ever Animal Farm FanFic and I hope it's good!**

**You know what to do. Review! And you'll receive virtual milk and apples. Virtual milk and apples to everyone!**

**See ya next time!**


	2. Snowball

**I already made this story today, but I just feel like doing another chapter! This time, Snowball will be the chapter victim!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Animal Farm, I'd put the final Rebellion in the novel like the 1954 movie. Sadly, I don't own it.**

**...**

_Snowball_

1. Give him a stuffed dog toy for Christmas.

2. Repeat "Dreams dreams," "It's a lie," "Worse," and "Nonsense" like Napoleon did at Snowball, but make your voice more obnoxious.

3. Send him a Valentines card and tell him it's a love letter to him from Napoleon.

4. Put dog biscuits into his mash and mix it.

5. Instead of peeing onto his plans of the windmill, poop on them instead.

6. Change the commandments. Just do it your own way (not Napoleon's way) and make up very random rules like "No animal shall say 'moo.'"

7. On his birthday, give him a puppy.

8. Tape him being chased by Napoleon's guard dogs, tape him to a chair, tape his eyes open, and make him watch it over and over again.

9. When he says that wings count as legs, glue two chicken wings to his back and say, "You got SIX legs, you freak!" Then point at him and laugh. Make sure the others do, too.

10. Make him watch Barney.

**...**

**I know that these are very random, but at least I try to be funny! And I hope that you're liking these lists of here! I plan on doing Squealer next and I am gonna LOVE torturing that squealer!**

**Review and you'll get more milk and apples.**

**See ya next time!**


	3. Squealer

**Now it's time to put the annoying pain onto Squealer! Someone has to do something with that squealer! I've wanted to annoy him for a long time!**

**Disclaimer: I own Animal Farm. NOT!**

**...**

_Squealer_

1. Create FanFics about NapoleonXSquealer.

2. When he gives his speeches and says, "Surely, comrades, you don't want to see Jones come back?" yell, "YOU LOVE JONES!" and run off laughing.

3. Put him on a diet.

4. When he talks about Boxer's death and he says that he was with him and he says, "Long live Comrade Napoleon! Napoleon is always right!" shout at him and the animals about the truth of Boxer and reverse the praises: "Down with Comrade Napoleon! Napoleon is always wrong!"

5. When he walks on his hind legs, push him down and laugh when you see him roll on the ground and squeal.

6. ...then play the song "You Spin Me Right Round" when Napoleon sees him.

7. Steal his milk and apples and give him water and pork.

8. Force Napoleon and Squealer to make out in front of the animals.

9. Make a raspberry every time Squealer speaks.

10. Throw eggs at him.

**...**

**Sorry about making the author's notes short on this FanFic. But on here, I don't know what to say. Plus, I'll be updating Bluebeard's Story pretty soon and you'll recognize some cats on there.**

**So you know the drill: review and you'll receive Skittles or M&Ms!**

**See ya next time!**


	4. Benjamin

**I know that I already updated today, but I can't help it! The next animal coming up is...Benjamin! I know that you don't want me to annoy this poor donkey, but this FanFic is meant to at least tick the animals off!**

**I'll do Old Major sometime after the others, but I will NOT leave this respectable elderly pig out of this FanFic!**

**Disclaimer: How many times? I don't own this!**

**...**

_Benjamin_

1. When you ask him if he's happy about the Revolution and if he replies "Donkeys live a long time. You haven't seen a dead donkey," remind him of a Biblical part: A donkey's head is worth two pounds of silver.

2. Keep telling him the story of Boxer's death.

3. Bring Donkey from Shrek over to Animal Farm and make him Benjamin's new companion.

4. Write FanFics of BoxerXBenjamin.

5. Put him in the Baby In A Manger play and let kids play around on him for free.

6. Call him a bookworm anytime he reads one of the Seven Commandments of Animalism.

7. Make him be "reading buddies" with the pigs.

8. Let Boxer repeat the words "Napoleon is always right" (even though Napoleon is always wrong) to Benjamin.

9. Feed him waffles.

10. Switch the bodies of Benjamin and Donkey, and then make Benjamin be the new Donkey and let him annoy Shrek.

**...**

**That's all for now until Boxer comes around, so review and you'll get some Oreo cookie cakes!**

**See ya next time!**


	5. Boxer

**It's about time that I did another chapter of my Animal Farm story! And right now, I'm also writing a Kataang lemon FanFic and it DOES include lactation. I wasn't sure about that rule one time, but after seeing (NOT READING) a Harry Potter lemon about lactation, I guess that it won't hurt to make a FanFic about it!**

**Anyways, let's get to today's animal to annoy: Boxer!**

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

**...**

_Boxer_

1. Make him take days off.

2. Threaten to make him forget his slogan "Napoleon is always right" if he doesn't take days off.

3. Glue a saddle to his back...

4. ...then ride him to a rodeo and watch him fall in the middle of the show.

5. Create a dummy of a person and tell Boxer that a human was going to attack Benjamin. When he destroys the dummy, he'll think that it's a real human. When he falls down and starts crying, then say, "Get up! It's just a dummy!"

6. Create a sign in front of his stall that says "Do not make the horse work!"

7. Turn his slogans "I will work harder" and "Napoleon is always right" to "I will relax more" and "Napoleon is always wrong".

8. Send six dogs after him.

9. Put some Forever Glue onto his hooves and stick them into some boots.

10. Make a "Glue Appreciation Day" and drop glue all around the ground. Laugh at the animals getting stuck in there, but laugh at Boxer the most.

**...**

**Well, that's all for now. And I'll do Muriel the goat next and there isn't much that annoys her, so I'll just do things that normally annoy a goat. And I got number 5 from an Aflac commercial with the guy saying "Get up! It's chicken!"**

**So you know the drill: review and you'll get some tasty nachos and tacos from Taco Bell. Those are delicious!**

**See ya next time!**


	6. Muriel

**I finally made that Kataang lemon and so far, I had one review, but it was a good one! Hopefully, that story will get good with some other people!**

**Anyways, let's get to today's animal to tease: Muriel! I don't know much about Muriel in Animal Farm except that she read newspapers.**

**Disclaimer: NEVER OWNED ANIMAL FARM AND NEVER WILL!**

**...**

_Muriel_

1. Give her cans to eat for her birthday.

2. Give her a newspaper for Christmas.

3. When she tries to read "No animal shall sleep in a bed with sheets," say "No, no, no. My dear goat, it says 'Napoleon and Spuealer sleep in beds with sheets. They're breaking their word of honor!" Then walk away before she figures this out.

4. Bring a chupacabra to the farm and set them on the sheep, but make it annoy Muriel until she runs away.

5. Keep calling her old.

6. ...then apologize and say "Sorry. I didn'tmean to get your goat. Wait a minute...YOU'RE A GOAT!" Then run away laughing.

7. Make a sign that says "Do not read to the goat!"

8. Put soda into her diet. I should know 'cause I saw some goat in a magazine chugging down a can of cola.

9. Ban the song "Beasts of England" from her mind when Squealer's around.

10. Involve her into a head-butting contest with a moose.

**...**

**Well, that's all for now. Up next is Moses and that's all I can say for now.**

**So you know the drill: just review and you'll recieve a pie of your own flavor! And NO, they aren't bombs! What do you think happened to Squidward?**

**See ya next time!**


	7. Moses

**Today is the day to update! And the next weekend is my brother's birthday; he'll be turning fifteen very soon.**

**Anyways, let's get to today's animal to tease: Moses! I know just the thing, or things, to tick off Moses, so just grin and bear it!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned it, I'd butcher Napoleon and throw him out to the coyotes.**

**...**

_Moses_

1. Take away his beer and bread.

2. Keep singing your own version of "Deck the Halls" and telling him that Mr. Jones is a bad owner.

3. Make the pigs believe in SugarCandy Mountain. Then tell Moses that you were tricking him.

4. Bring a parrot to the farm. Train the parrot to annoy Moses as much as he can and make it go with him on his trip away from the farm. When Moses returns and falls from frustration, laugh at him.

5. Keep calling him a farmer's pet.

6. When he preaches about SugarCandy Mountain, hire Squealer (not really) to tell everyone that Moses has a bad case of "Tourettes Guy wanna-be" syndrome and that he loves to curse.

7. Make a sign that says "Beware of the dogs who will rip that raven apart if he comes back."

8. Taunt him by forcing him to watch you feed bread soaked with Sprite to the ducks and geese, saying, "Hahaha! They're being good!"

9. Hook him up with a nagging crow. Interracial!

10. Force him to give one of his feathers to Dumbo.

**...**

**I hope these are enough to tick Moses off. Coming up next is Mr. Jones. Even though he's not an animal, there will be jokes about him really soon.**

**You guys know what to do, right? It's to give a review and you'll recieve a cookie cake since my brother's birthday is this Saturday.**

**See ya next time!**


	8. Mr Jones

**Today is Halloween and I'm doing the nightmare of Animal Farm: Mr. Jones! I promise you guys that he looks like Frankenstein's monster! Just take a good look at him!**

**Disclaimer: Squealer would be sent to China if I owned Animal Farm, but I don't own it. You guys should know that!**

_Mr. Jones_

1. Make him and Frankenstein's monster marry each other.

2. Force him to look for a job. When he doesn't drag him out of his house and take him to another farm. It worked when SpongeBob dragged Squidward out of his house with him in the bed and it'll work on Mr. Jones.

3. Put him on a very strict "No Beer Or Alcohol" diet and give him water to drink. That's good on a very hot day. It makes me drool...

4. Bend his gun in half, shoot in the air, and toss it aside. Hagrid did the same thing to Uncle Vernon's gun.

5. Train Moses to not come near Jones when Jessie attacks him. Then, walk over to Mr. Jones and kick him in the head, saying "NyaNya!"

6. When he comes into the room, hold your nose and tell everyone, "Eww, what's that smell? Oh wait, it's from the big sweaty smelly guy!" Then point at Mr. Jones and laugh at him. Make sure the others do too.

7. Keep telling him about the part when the animals from "his" farm drove him out and how he got his butt whopped in the Battle of the Cowshed. Watch his reaction and put a paper sack over his head.

8. Throw away all of his beer.

9. Pull out a picture of a pig from one of the Scary Stories books with the pig in there and tell him that he married a pig.

10. Sing this to him:

_Mr. Jones, you're ugly, but what can we do?_

_Everyone says you belong in a zoo._

_If you look in a mirror, it'll surely crack._

_The best thing to wear is a big paper sack!_

Then run away like the Peeves you really want to be!

**...**

**I'm glad that Mr. Jones is far far away from Animal Farm as much as possible, although it depends on whether you're reading the book or watcing the 1954 cartoon movie or the 1999 Hallmark movie. ****And the next person or animal that I'll try is maybe Old Major.**

**If anyone gives a review since I haven't got one in a while, you'll recieve all the candy from Harry Potter as much as you like with a side order of pumpkin juice or a soft drink!**

**See ya next time! And Happy Halloween, everybody!**


	9. Old Major

**Today is Veterans' Day and it's time to list the ways to annoy a good pig: Old Major.**

**Disclaimer: Nada!**

**...**

_Old Major_

1. Take his body to America and keep it away from his comrades.

2. Make old jokes about him.

3. Keep asking him if he needed his food cut.

4. Count the wrinkles on his face.

5. Give him a pet Pteradactyl for his birthday.

6. Show him the videotape of the 1999 Animal Farm movie when Mr. Jones accidentally shoots Old Major in the back.

7. When Major tells the pigs about the butchering part, make Old Major kiss Snowball and run away laughing like a hyena.

8. Tell Major that he knew he was getting older since he keeps counting his liverspots.

9. Hook Major up with an old sow and throw raisins at them.

10. Steal his false teeth.

**...**

**I might probably do those sheep next. Poor Old Major. Id nly he lived, he would've prevented Napoleon from taking over the farm.**

**Anyways, this section is in honor of Veterans' Day; if you review, you'll recieve a small American flag, American flag-colored bead necklaces, and American flag-colored cupcakes.**

**See ya next time! And Happy Veterans' Day!**


	10. The Sheep

**AvatarCat11: I am officially starting up 10 Ways To Annoy Animal Farm's Creatures once again! And as usual, I'm gonna make these chapter short yet funny! And I hope this inspires more people to write more stories for Animal Farm!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Animal Farm. George Orwell was the one who owns the book, not me. And he will forever have it as his own, even though he's dead.**

**Updating Date: April 6, 2011**

**Enjoy!**

**...**

_The Sheep_

1. When they keep saying "Four legs good! Two legs bad!", shout at them to shut up.

2. Shave their fleece every week or so, then laugh at them. I don't know how long it takes for a sheep to grow wool, so let's just go with this.

3. Invite wolves over for dinner and let the sheep serve their appetites...if you know what I mean!

4. Chase THEM around the bonfire!

5. Repeat the sheep speech from "Babe" and make them be your servants for an entire year. Whenever they start saying "Four legs good, two legs bad," use a buzzer to bleep it out every time.

6. Move the sheepdogs into their pen and make them "homies."

7. When they say "Four legs good, two legs better," fit them into corsets and make them walk on their hind legs. Then say "Let's see how YOU like it!"

8. Make them go through that mattress commercial with the humans watching them.

9. Glue their wool together and, when they rub against each other to free themselves, static electricity will come around.

10. Stain their wool with mud.

**...**

**Well...that's all I can make for now and I'll think of ways to either make fun of Mr. Pilkington or Molly.**

**Anyone who reviews will be given virtual chocolate Easter eggs.**

**See ya next time!**


	11. Mr Pilkington

**AvatarCat11: I'm starting up with another chapter of 10 Ways To Annoy Animal Farm's Creatures once again! And as usual, I'm gonna make this chapter short yet funny!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Animal Farm. The only one who will ever own it is Geroge Orwell.**

**Updating Date: April 17, 2011**

**Enjoy!**

**...**

_Mr. Pilkington_

1. Make him buy your stuff in front of Napoleon.

2. ...then steal Mr. Pilkington's money and laugh at him.

3. Invite him to dinner and, when he takes a second helping, tell him "Aren't you supposed to be on a diet, dear boy?"

4. Invade his house at night and make him believe the pigs robbed him blind.

5. When his wife cheats on him, tell him the truth with a little "Bow chicka wow wow!" at the end.

6. Videotape him and his wife with Napoleon. If he denies it, hypnotize him and tell him that he was going to ruin Animal Farm.

7. Force him into a corset.

8. Deny him any request for beer and tell him to have some punch. Then punch him in the face and run off laughing.

9. Force him to watch Powerpuff Girls over and over again. And make him eat their cereal. (That was when I was a little kid.)

10. Hire Puss In Boots to arrest him for mooning the animals with his face.

**...**

**Well...that's all for now. And the next chapter will have Molly.**

**Anyone who reviews will be given virtual chocolate Easter eggs since Easter is exactly a week away.**

**See ya next time!**


	12. Mollie

**AvatarCat11: There was some review that gave me ideas for how to annoy/torture Mollie. And the owner of that review was RunawaysFan. So RunawaysFan, I'll put in those ideas, but I'd like to give you credit for thinking those up. :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Animal Farm. All the characters I'm annoying belong to George Orwell.**

**Updating Date: December 28, 2011**

**Enjoy!**

_Mollie_

1.) Tell her George Orwell didn't mean to put her in the book; she was just there to be the bratty teenager.

2.) Tell her that her issues are petty.

3.) Steal her sugar.

4.) When she asks to be in a pageant, deny her entrance.

5.) Get her a job as a wild horse in Spirit: Stallion Of The Cimarron. Then tell her there is no sugar in the movie.

6.) Prod her with a cattle prod every time she tries to go to the other farm.

7.) Get her a job in the army as a war horse. When she complains, give her grass to shut her up.

8.) Destroy her name spelt in sticks.

9.) Like stealing her sugar, steal her ribbons.

10.) Embarrass Mollie at her sweet 16 birthday party. Though I'm not sure when that'll be in a horse's life, go along with it.

**AvatarCat11: I hope everyone's glad I updated this chapter again. Now if anyone wants to see a group of animals or another character annoyed, leave a review and let me know.**

**By the way, anyone who reviews this chapter will receive virtual slices of Christmas cake; it's a red velvet cake with white icing and red-&-green sprinkles. Flames will be used to roast S'Mores and constructive criticism is allowed, as long as it's not harsh.**

**See ya next time!**


End file.
